Summer Test Drive Meme

[thespaceopera]

THE SUMMER TEST DRIVE MEME
(Or Winter Test Drive for you Southern Hemisphere folks!)

Got someone you want to try out before you app? Well this is the post for it! Feel free to use anything that fits in the setting of Drift Fleet! Want to play bumper shuttles? Want to go wild in a med bay? Play around with the current plot? Have at it!

Threads from the Test-Drive may be made game "canon" but DO NOT count toward AC!

FOR NEW PLAYERS: You DO NOT NEED an invite to participate in the TEST DRIVE! If you decide to APP into the game, ONLY THEN will you need an invite from a current player!

Helpful Info for Ideas!:

June/July's Star System

May's Star System

Game Details

Test drives are posted SEASONALLY, so the next one will be in September!

Comments

[abracafcku]

[Taako chuckles at KVN's enthusiasm because he can just imagine Magnus ripping this guy's arms straight off and then shoving them into his backpack.]

Sorry, my man, he's off doing the main quest somewhere.

[And hopefully okay. Of all of the people he'd met - besides Angus - Magnus was the one who he honestly didn't want any harm to come to. Merle....Well, him too; but in the ranking of "It Would Suck If You Died," he wasn't quite as high. Still up there, but not as high.

He yawns and covers his mouth with one hand.]

And that's a no-can-do. I'm new here, you see, don't exactly know where the cookies are. And I don't know you, so unless you have a really compelling reason for me to move right now? I'm gonna keep chillaxing it with Garyl.

[The rainbow binicorn huffs and tosses its majestic rainbow mane.]

[therealrawkvn]

[KVN's one eye swivels around and considers the binicorn.] Alright, Garyl. It is up to you. [Yes he's going to casually talk to the animal and assume it can understand him.] You need to go find us where the cookies are. I need at least six cookies. And if you bring back eight of them I'll let you have one.

[abracafcku]

[Garyl blinks and does a horsely shrug and speaks in a voice like smooth jazz:]

Yeah, I'm just a spectral horse? You're expecting me to understand what food is and actually care.

Also, Taako's the one who summoned me so I have to obey him.

[From the back of the binicorn, Taako snickers again and stretches.]

There you have it, my dude. Unless you got a really good bribe, I'm not moving.

[therealrawkvn]

Alright. You drive a really hard bargain. I'll increase your reward. If you bring me twelve cookies then I will let you have two of them. [Master briber here. It should also be noted that this robot doesn't have a mouth. What he will do with those cookies is anyone's guess.]

[abracafcku]

[He used to help a dude feed knowledge to a magical floating space jellyfish, so honestly? He doesn't care what or how a robot eats as long as it isn't him.

Also, this is a terrible bribe and he hates it.]

You really don't get the meaning behind the word "bribe," do you? If I find cookies - and if they're up to my standards - I'm just going to eat them. Screw giving them to some floating future arm-donation.

Do you have any money?

[therealrawkvn]

But I'm the captain. That means you have to do as I say! [Being a pretend captain is a lot of work that he wasn't expecting!]

Money? Why would a Deep Space Insanity Avoidance Companion need money for? [Said in a tone of voice that hints KVN may be mocking Taako for his reasonable question.] Why? Do yoooooooou have money? Can I have your money? [KVN is going to float his way up close as he asks his question. To stare his one big eye at Taako and invading his personal space. Although the robot can easily be batted away.] I need it. For... something. [He doesn't know what, but he'll think of something eventually.]

[abracafcku]

[A Deep Space Insanity Avoidance Companion? Yeah, no he's done.

Taako sits up on Garyl and puts a hand up, holding the floating robot at bay. He doesn't like anyone up in his space, but especially not a big yellow ball of rude.]

Not my el capitano and even if you were, you'd find out very quickly, I don't listen to authority very well.

[KVN is honestly lucky Taako hasn't tried using him like a volleyball and spiking him to the ground just for amusement's sake.]

No money, no cookies. That's the deal.

[therealrawkvn]

[KVN likely wouldn't have a problem with becoming a volleyball. He's sort of use to it.]

Then what are you going to do if you aren't going to find me some cookies? Just lay around? [He floats back just enough so that he's not pressing up against Taako's hand, but he's still pretty close.]

[abracafcku]

[...Wow. Magnus would love this guy.

Now that KVN is moving back, Taako takes a moment to consider what he says. He puts a hand to his chin, tapping a finger against his cheek as he hums a long low note.]


Mmmmmmmmmmmm........

[And then he flops back where he was just a moment earlier, lounging on Garyl's back.]

Yep, sounds good to me. Boring, but better than dying on some quest with no monetary gain.

[therealrawkvn]

Oh. Alright. [KVN will let Taako go back to resting. Apparently bored with the guy. The robot hums a tune to himself that will repeat over and over in a short, obnoxious sort of way. Still, Taako can probably ignore it easily enough.

What might be harder to ignore is when KVN starts to touch things.] Oooh! What's this? [He presses a button and immediately an alarm start to blare. A count down announcing that artificial gravity will be deactivated in 30 seconds starts up.] Huh. So that's what that did.

30. 29. 28--

[abracafcku]

Are you fucking kidding me.

[He sits up and stares hard at the floating ball of annoyance as he turns on the disable sequence. A fantasy elf is not going to be able to turn gravity back on because he has no idea what button the little turd touched.

Taako just wanted to relax. He just wanted to relax. Why was his life this way?

He dismounts Garyl and the spectral binicorn whinnies and then disappears as he dismisses the summon. Taako goes to the panel where KVN is and shoves him aside.]

What did you touch?

[therealrawkvn]

[KVN floats back unperturbed by the shoving that has just happened.] Me? I hardly touched anything!

I mean, I only touched the door. And I touched the window. There was this broom I found. I touched that too. And I touched the new Beth I found, but that would be rude to go into details of that. [He means that he kissed the fridge. As he waggles a small flap above his eye as if to mimic how a human might waggle their eyebrow.] Then I touched some goo that I think was suppose to be food. So I then touched some sheets I found on some beds. Then I touched--

27-- 26-- 25--

[abracafcku]

[Betch, he saw you touching everything.

Also, gross. He is not interested in robot romance stories, which he shows by the look of utter disinterest on his face.]

Mmhmm, look, Kevin. You either tell me what you touched here to make this gravity thing shut off, or I'll Magic Missile you so your arms fall off. You got me?

[therealrawkvn]

Oooooooh you mean heeeeeeere. [While he doesn't exactly say: why didn't you say so? His tone clearly does. He turns to the controls under threat of bodily harm and stares at them for a moment.]

Hmmmm. It was this one! [He presses a button, but that one just turns off the lights.] Oh, no wait. It was this one. [Something wails and he presses the button off again.] Or maybe this one--? [He presses another button.]

Please press again to confirm deactivation of life support system.

[He's totally reaching out to press it again. And that's how KVN lost his arms?]

[abracafcku]

[Oh God, is this what it was like dealing with him, Merle, and Magnus? When they don't listen, he's certain they're just as annoying as all this.

But you know what? He has a pretty good idea that "life support system" is important to him still living, so he gives KVN a short look and there's a wave of his hand.

And KVN will find himself slammed to the floor away from the panel, held there by an invisible force.]

Oops, my bad. My Mage Hand slipped.

[He flicks the lights back up with a press of a button, and then starts inspecting the panel trying to find the one that reads "gravity control." This is annoying and he hates this stuff. He's a magical freaking elf, not a tech wizard.]

[therealrawkvn]

[KVN hits the floor with a clang and should probably look worried. Instead he chuckles and tries to wiggle his arms around. Apparently thinking this is all a game.

Luckily, while KVN is of no help, the big button flashing: GRAVITY is probably the button Taako is looking for.] Have we been saved now?

[abracafcku]

Yeah, all thanks to the great and wonderful Taako with no help from the useless robit, Kevin.

[He slaps the GRAVITY button and computer chimes in:

Sequence deactivated.

Before Taako turns around, he flicks his wrist again and the invisible force doubles down, pressing KVN harder against the ground.]

Look, my man, I'm bored but I'm not exactly keen to die anytime soon and I lean toward the morally gray side of the die. You do something like that again and I'll transmute you into a puddle, got it?

[therealrawkvn]

[A synthesized drum beat plays from some speaker located on KVN as he makes up a little song. Not that he has much rhythm or singing voice.] Splish, splash! That's a mess! Splish, splash! A yellow mess!

[abracafcku]

[If only there was a spell he knew that could create a Cone of Silence.

Welp.

Taako hummed for a second to himself and then began casting. He'd have to maintain both Mage Hand and this alchemy spell, but he's willing to waste the time.

So here he goes, he starts moving his hand in a specific pattern, pointing at where KVN is touching the ground.]

Yep, I'm melding you to the floor.

[therealrawkvn]

Alriiiiiiight. But then you won't figure out how to get out of here! [He's still a cheerful guy for having just been threatened with bodily harm and being melded to a floor.]

[abracafcku]

My dude, I died eleven times in the course of a single day and then fought off a giant purple worm, so I think I'm gonna be juuuuust fine.

[He keeps his concentration on the spell and the floor and KVN's outer shell start softening like butter.]

Besides, I got onto this ship, I can get off it again. It's called a shuttle.

[therealrawkvn]

Okay then! [He should concerned about how his out shell is softening, but KVN is the type of robot who doesn't let a single thing bother him.] Although aren't you worried about your head exploding? Pretty sure prisoners aren't suppose to leave their assigned ships. [As KVN is still running on the idea that he's been reactivated on some sort of prison ship.]

[abracafcku]

[Wait.

What?]

Well, now I am. This place isn't a prison ship as far as I know.

[He does know that there's something in his head - the augment at the base of his skull which is SO UGLY, but his hair hides it so he generally ignores it.]

It's just a giant shopping mall of nothing interesting.

[therealrawkvn]

Well then. You should hurry back to your prison ship so your head doesn't explode! I could put a good word in for you. Me and ship AIs always get along! [That's a lie. He's also hasn't been able to find any ship AI to talk to yet which is concerning, but KVN also doesn't really care.]

[abracafcku]

Somehow I really doubt that.

[Both the prison thing and the idea that this little floating pissball could get along with anything. He's still melding him to the floor because he's absolutely willing to spend ten minutes doing this and is absolutely going to.]

This isn't a prison ship, dummy, it's a reality TV show.